


rhetorical questions shall continue until morale improves

by jonphaedrus



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Character Study, Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Gen, Immortals War, Inspired By A Softer World, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonphaedrus/pseuds/jonphaedrus
Summary: In the midst of a war where her keen mind was of more value than her sword arm, Thayet had been forced to reckon with who and what she was, for better or worse.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: Purimgifts 2021





	rhetorical questions shall continue until morale improves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mihrsuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihrsuri/gifts).



\

[A Softer World -- Corner](https://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=997)

Thayet had never really planned to become Queen of anywhere. She had always known she would have to be—the chance to run away and become someone else was never in the cards for her, born beautiful to a man who had few friends and needed power. All she had wanted as a child was to climb a tree and never come down. No more responsibility. Just the future.

But that was not who she was. As much as Thayet longed to ride out and just keep riding, just her and her horse and the horizon, that was not the life that would have made her happy. It was a way out.

Thayet had never willingly run from anything in her life. She wasn’t about to run from her responsibilities, or being in love, or being a mother, or any of the above.

Not that it made it any easier, when marriage and children was wrapped up in ruling a kingdom, conniving evil dukes with coups on the mind, war, and then war again but this time with immortal creatures out of history and myth. There was never any down time—every time she felt like they had a handle on some aspect of life in Tortall, the next thing would be...hurroks. Griffins.

In the midst of a war where her keen mind was of more value than her sword arm, Thayet had been forced to reckon with who and what she was, for better or worse. Was she a diplomat, a trained politician with a head for strategy? Or was she a warrior queen, mounted on horseback with blade and bow in hand? Or both? Neither?

When the dust settled over Pirate’s Swoop and Thayet stood on the curtain wall, covered in sweat and bone-tired, holding her crying children, watching the kraken’s wake fade back into seafoam and tidal treads, Thayet realized none of it mattered. She was who she was, for better or worse, dichotomies and all.

Thayet jian Wilima had come of age in blood and battle and war, carrying grief old in her bones. She knew how to fight other people, knew how to kill and not throw up with guilt afterward. It was a hard lesson to learn.

People were not krakens. People were not baby dragons crying for their missing mothers. People were not unicorns and hurroks and griffins and stormwings. Holding her children, cold with fear and exhaustion, Thayet of Conté came of age in the quiet heartbeats of adult knowing that the dichotomies didn't matter: she was both of them, the woman on horseback with the bow, the woman sidesaddle in the fine dress.

If Tortall was going to get out of this Immortals War alive, Thayet was going to need to fight with all of herself, be true to all of herself, to see them to victory.


End file.
